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Chapter 4

FRHD 3040 Chapter 4:

Family Relations and Human Development
Course Code
FRHD 3040
David Green

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FRHD 3040
Chapter 4 child socialization strategies and techniques
Guidance as prevention of problems
- Those parents who are likely to embrace the prevention-of-problem techniques have
higher levels of child acceptance and parent involvement
o Ex: child acceptance consists of accepting that young children, need to run, jump
and climb
1. The positive influence of parental involvement
o Parental involvement can predict positive child development, lower levels of
depression, less likely to act out and safe sex initiation
2. Establishing an atmosphere of psychological safety
o Briggs believe that the chief goal of parenting is to build a strong sense of self
worth in children
o This was achieved through three levels of self esteem within the child, high self
esteem occurred when they experience unconditional love, middle self esteem
results from the belief that their lovability derives from performance that pleases
others and low self esteem is when children question their lovability
a) The house of self
o The house of self is used to explain how each level of self esteem is build
o The house is constructed by the everyday words, body language, and treatment by
important people in their environment and self esteem is built when the child feels
and experiences the parents love rather than if the parent just loves the child
o Parents can foster self esteem through unconditional love, focused attention,
trusting relationship and having humour in the relationship
- Research findings that determine the value of promoting children’s self esteem
o The more important the person is to the child, the more influential are the
judgements of that person the child’s attitude toward him or herself
o Higher self esteem mediates a variety of negative outcomes in the children’s
future including the believe they are still worthwhile individuals when they fail
3. Guidance as encouragement of children
o Encouragement is one of the most beneficial skills that parents might use for
assisting children in meeting their goals and boosting self esteem because it shifts
the parental focus from children’s mistakes to what the parent appreciates about
the child
o This is done through…
a) Avoiding value judgments of children: when comments are laden with
negative values and opinions ex: “it looks nice, its about time you clean up
that messy room” it does not help the child believe in themselves
b) Focusing on the feelings of children: rather than saying “I am proud of you”
which focuses on the parent’s feelings, the praise could be “you must feel
proud of yourself”
c) Focusing on process rather than outcome: when parents wait until their
children have achieved a desired outcome before noticing their efforts, they

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miss out on the opportunity to motivate them s they are working toward their
d) Separating children’s worth from their accomplishments: it is essential that
parents make it clear that they love and appreciate their children independent
of their successes
e) Separating children’s worth from their mistakes: mistakes such as
misbehaviour, do not reflect a lack of worth but are actually an aspect of
growth and development
f) Attitudes and behaviours that discourage children: parents should eliminate
negative expectations, unreasonably high demands, competition between
children, being overly ambitious, double standards
g) Attitudes and behaviours that encourage children: replace discouraging
patterns with encouraging ones ex: appreciating uniqueness, showing
confidence in children
a. Research findings linking the use of encouragement to positive
i. Studies have demonstrated that children’s level of performance
and feelings of success are related to their parent’s satisfaction
with and encouragement of their performance
4. Four plusses and a wish a strategy for motivating children’s compliance
o A technique developed by Purkey, and is an excellent choice for motivating
children’s cooperation because it contains an affirming exchange that is far more
likely to inspire cooperation than is the typical parental command
o When children feel respected they are far more motivated to comply with parental
wishes than are children who do not feel values
1) Smile: parent approaches the child with a smiling face
2) Relaxed body language: minimize physical distance and appear relaxed
3) Say the child’s name: child’s name using an approving tone personalizes the request and
shows respect
4) Pay a compliment to the child: affirm the child by paying a compliment
5) The wish: parent makes the request
a) Research findings emphasizing respectful treatment of children
i) Research has reported that parents of rejected children use less supportive speech in
making requests of their children those parents make significantly more requests of
their children but do not give their children time to reply to their requests
5. The concept of belongingness and children’s goals of misbehaviour
o Dreikurs provided an approach for understanding the feelings and goals that
underlie children’s misbehaviour by emphasizing the ways in which the
socialization process frequently contributes to children’s misconduct
o Four goals of misbehaviour
- Misbehaviour designed to gain power: when children are not consulted, or given a voice
regarding matter that affect them they tend to feel powerless
- Misbehaviour designed to gain attention: when parents fail to provide sufficient attention,
children are likely to engage in misbehaviour that is designed to attract attention
- Misbehaviour related to the goal of revenge: the goal of revenge emerges from frustrated
attempts to seek attention and power resulting from their hurt feelings
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