II. Attraction, Close Relationships, and Groups
a. Framework Questions
i. Why do we affiliate?
x To promote survival ± you may be motivated to live with people because it makes it easier to get
1. Core Social Motives
x Belonging ± social rejection is literally painful, our body tells us that something is not right and we
need to belong in order to survive.
x Understanding ± we agree to certain rules on how to interact with the world around us ± we should
all have the same reality.
x Efficacy ± 3HRSOHZKRGRQ¶WIHHOLQFRQWURORIWKHLUHQYLURQPHQWKDYHJUHDWHUKHDOWKSUREOHPV7KHUH
can be individual control and harmony control.
x Enhancement ± In most cultures people have self enhancement motivation, you feel good about
yourself if you are accepted.
x Trust ± You need to know who are your allies and your enemies. In individual culture, they trust till
there is a reason not to trust, they trust widely. In collective culture, they need a reason to trust!
ii. When do we affiliate?
1. Social Support
x Provision of warmth, supportiveness or instrumental care.
2. Social Exchange
x Reciprocal exchange of goods and services (you have something I want, I have something you need)
3. Social Obligation
x Expectations of responsibility to ingroup members (i.e., family,friends, social network members)
(people in collectivistic culture do this more ± you have to help your ingroup no matter what)
iii. Who do we affiliate with?
We like people who are:
x Close to us in proximity ± people we see more we like more.
x Familiar to us ± if we have seen someone or something before we like it more.
x Similar to us ± if we have similar ideas we would like people more
x Physically attractive ± good looking people get benefit of doubt.
x Have some admired skill/quality ± people who have something we like or want.
x Like us ± people who like us!
1. Interpersonal Attraction
x According to evolutionary reasoning, people should be especially attracted to healthy mates who
would likely produce healthy offspring that would survive.
x What kind of faces are thought to be attractive:
o Complexion ± skin that is free of blemishes, sores, rashes and blotches is viewed as more
attractive. Blemishes and sores can be indicator of disease or parasite and people need to be
attracted to healthy mates.
o Bilateral symmetry ± left side of face matches right side of the face.
o Average face ± features that are close to average in size. People with average face size are
less likely to have genetic abnormalities. Biracial faces are considered more attractive
because they represent best average of all faces.
2. Evolutionary Perspective
x Organisms produce very rapidly. Would exhaust limited resources, if not for the fact that other
animals are competing for the same resources.
x Animals vary in ways that can influence their ability to survive in competition with others.
x Organisms whose genetic traits provide an advantage will survive longer and be more successful in
b. Intrasexual Competition
x Traits that provide an advantage because they help an individual compete with same-sex rivals.
c. Intersexual Choice
x Traits that provide an advantage in attracting opposite-sex mates.
i. Mate Selection
x Men Seek:
x Women Seek:
o Emotional Commitment
b. Close Relationships
x Our relationships with others are concerns that dominate our lives, and it would be impossible to have a
good understanding of human nature unless we also consider how people relate to other.
i. Friends and Enemies
x People in independent and interdependent culture perceive relationships differently.
x People in independent culture perceive themselves as being disconnected from others and the only
reason such people would form connections is because they choose to do so ± relationships are
maintained on mutually voluntary baises.
x In interdependent culture relationships are perceived to exist by default.
ii. Arranged Marriages
x A novel concept to westerners!
1. Individualistic and Collectivistic Assumptions
x Novel concept to westerners!
x Individualistic Assumptions:
o A person will only loYHVRPHRQHWKDWWKH\¶YHFKRVHQ
o Love is a choice, based on a unique connection
o A marriage with no love is bound to be miserable
x In collectivistic cultures, marriage is not regarded as a union of 2 individuals, rather it is a union of 2
x It is seen as important for cementing family liaisons, building new economic ties, and maintaining the
influence of extended network.
x Collectivistic Assumption:
o Love is assumed to grow out of marriage.
o Love is sanctioned only between certain partners.
o Sanctioned love can act as important social glue.
2. Gupta & Singh (1982)
x Study compared marriage satisfaction and time spent in marriage between Indian couples who were in
either arranged or love marriages.
x In initial years of marriage, people in love marriages professed more love than the ones in arranged
x Over time it was those in arranged marriages who reported having most love.
x Feelings of love might sometimes grow for people in arranged marriages and decline for those in love
marriages because people have different standards of comparison.
i. Social Exchange Perspective
x Social exchange - is the trading of benefits within relationships.